I carry your heart with me

e.e. cummings I carry your heart with me

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet ) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)



Read more: http://www.blessedwithlove.com/poem/i-carry-your-heart-with-me-ee-cummings#ixzz2PcTNFmpL

A ray of sunshine.

It has been raining like crazy for days! So today when the sun peaked out we decided to make the most of it. Reamer caught an awesome lizard named "plant". He's Reamers favorite lizard. He apparently is now going to live in our screened in porch forever. And we decided to go puddle jumping. It was a good day!!

Daddy's Paper Hug

We have been reading several books on deployment. One of the books is about a boy who sent his daddy a paper hug. The little boy traced his hands and cut them out and put them together with a little bit of yarn. This way his daddy could get a hug and have the little boys hands around him anytime he wanted. Reamer wanted to make for hug for his daddy, Just like the little boy in the book. So, here is your paper hug daddy it will be coming in the mail very soon.

Strength

Strength. Everybody has it. Sometimes you never even knew that you had it in you. When you look at other people's lives you sometimes think about how "strong" they are. I've been getting that a lot lately. People "don't know how I do it...". People can't believe the "strength" that I have. First of all I'm not the strong one. That would be my husband. He is the strong and brave one. I have never seen a stronger man in my entire life. But the most amazing thing about him isn't his strength, it's his kindness. He never has a negative word to say about anyone. If you ever wonder if he's saying something about you that's not nice, don't worry, he's not. I'm serious, almost never. It's amazing. Does he loose his temper? Never. I mean never. He is amazing.

"Holding down the fort" at home is hard but c'mon. My husband is at war. Literal war. Who was consoling who when we said goodbye? It was him consoling me and taking care of me. It's always him. If you know Reamer you know that he is super strong physically but his mental strength and emotional strength are incomparable. Saying "see ya in 9 months" to me and the kids had to be so tough on him. I know his heart was breaking. But guess what? He was telling me it was going to be ok. He is so brave. I'm so lucky. I couldn't have ever in my life found a better person to fall in love with. My kids are the luckiest. He is the BEST DAD EVER.

My son Reamer wants to be "just like his daddy". He flexes his muscles at the dinner table every night. He sees his daddy's physical strength and wants to be just like him. But if he only knew how "strong" his daddy actually is he would be in awe.

I know that this is completely mushy and wayyyyy too much info, but I wanted to put it out there. I want you all to know how proud of my husband I am. How much I love him and how much my heart aches for him to be with me. I know I can make it through this deployment not because of my own strength but because of his.

At church this past weekend the message was about having the strength and courage to see God's vision for your life. Not only seeing the vision but mustering up the strength to fulfill God's plan for your life. It was about seeing what needs to be done and doing it. Before church I wrote my goals down and it's like God grabbed me and said. "Here... This is how you are going to get through this! Now, look to Me for the courage and strength to do it." So, here I am thinking of my husbands strength and my God's strength and I know I can get through it.

Goals

I am totally type A personality. Reamer is now deployed and I immediately set a million goals for myself and the kids. It's what pushes me forward. It helps give me purpose and helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel. At this point I think I may have set the bar too high for myself but at least it's keeping me somewhat positive. I thought about listing them here for everyone to see but deleted them because after writing them it seemed a little bit crazy. One of my goals is to write this blog. I want to use the blog to help Reamer keep up with what we're doing. I also think it will be a good outlet for me to talk about my life and to help everyone understand what the deployment is really like. The last weekend was rough but today I'm looking at my goals and feeling like I can accomplish some things that I wouldn't have normally done. For me the deployment is almost like a new year, it's a new beginning, it's a readjustment and keeping a positive attitude is one of the most important things that I can do for myself, my kids and especially for my soldier. Of course this blog will also be used to show pictures of our adorable children. I can't stop myself from taking pictures of them. Since Reamer isn't home to Share in this joy. I think it's important for me to write things down so that he can read what's happening in our lives and also other people can join in the joy that they are bringing to me!!

I know that the blog will usually be about the kids, but today is about me. It's about keeping a positive attitude and having joy even when it seems impossible. I'm hoping that if I keep myself very busy, time will pass quickly and our family will be together again. My son Reamer has told me many times since his daddy left that "we are not a family when daddy is gone". Please say some prayers and wish me luck on all of my crazy goals. With a little encouragement you might give me the push I need to make it through this deployment. And to my brave, amazing, wonderful husband-- you are so deeply missed.

Reamers alligator named Gatorade

My nephew!!